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First, the pictures: Use the buttons on the left.
- Mainly John Otway and The Big Band
- Members of the audience at the Sunday morning party - just having a good time
- The Sweeney, at work and at leisure (including a picture with Richard)
- A few pictures of Eddie And The Hot Rods
- Eddie And The Hot Rods audition for a new guitarrist
Then, this is what happened (This review was compiled with the help of Patsy Andrews, Jane Armstrong, and Billy Green, to whom I offer my thanks):
Even though this was only my second 'Dunkerque', those nice people at Rotator already regard me as a veteran. Or maybe it was Richard Cotton being rude about my age. Anyway, this year, instead of my mate Roger, I was accompanied by Ann, so I had to be on my best behaviour. Yeah, right!
Instead of getting up at an unearthly hour on the Saturday, we decided to go down to Kent at a leisurely pace on the Friday night for the warm-up at Red Lion. Leisurely? The M25 in the rain was a complete .... well, let's just say it lacked parentage. The road works on the A2/M2 were still there from last year, as well.
On arrival at the Gate, Banania man and Mini-Banania got there at about the same time, and Jane & Eddie arrived not long afterwards.
Getting across the road from The Gate to the Red Lion across the dual A2 was a bit like playing chicken, so the Karaoke in the pub wasn't the only form of Hara Kiri available on the Friday night. The bemused faces of the locals when John got up to sing 'Honey' were a delight to see. But, by the time we got to HOTRS (even the 'ball & chain' verse came up on the screen), they, too, were enthusiastically joining in. Eddie, minus Jane, had to leave when one of the locals absolutely murdered Total Eclipse of the Heart. Ann and I joined him in the chicken run back to The Gate. However, apparently, certain people partied until the wee wee hours...
When we went over for Breakfast With Otway the next morning there was one thing missing...... Otway. The breakfast was very nice - but we had to pay an extra £1 for our tea and coffee - which seemed a bit much considering that breakfast cost a fiver a head (and there wasn't even any Otway with it!) and also considering they probably take more over the bar this weekend from us lot than they do for the rest of the year put together.
Anyway, just as the coaches were about to leave, along puffed one Mr Otway. Apparently everyone had forgotten about him and no-one had woken him up!!! That could have been a very strange trip to Dunkerque if we'd left the star behind!!!
Our coach, B, was looked after by extremely likeable Gareth and Rebekah, who asked me to plug their band, Ciccone, (www.ciccone.co.uk), and tell everyone that they have a gig on 12th December at '93 Feet' in Brick Lane, in London's East End. So there! I've done as asked. I Haven't a clue what their music is about, but it would be nice if some of us could lend these 'Cotton buds' some support. Seymour joined us for the trip sown to Dover, and was more than happy to talk to us lesser mortals. Top geezer!
Jane thought her coach, A, was probably the quietest bus of the lot apart from what she described as a lovely lot from Middlesborough who more than made up for the rest of them. However, she had a really bad stress headache on the way out so it was just as well. (She thanks you for the Nurofen, Seymour, it really did the trick, and the adrenalin at the gig got rid of the last of it.)
Various band members joined each of the coaches throughout the weekend - and it was on coach A that Murray coined the catchphrase for the weekend - "No offence" enabling us to insult each other as much as we liked - provided we ended it with "no offence"...
The outward crossing was on Seafrance's newest ferry, which, at 32,000 tonnes is claimed to be the biggest and fastest on the Dover Calais route. So, despite a slight swell, it was a very smooth voyage.
Checking in to the Europ Hotel was as efficient as last year, and we were soon in our comfortable rooms. They didn't have kettles in the room though - to so we had to forego our cuppa when we got there.
We decided, because of last year's experience of wandering around for ages looking for somewhere to eat, to buy some basic food and drink in Lidl's next door, and had a picnic of bread, cheese, and paté, all washed down with rum & coke, in our room. Jane & Eddie later told us they had a similar idea, with a more calorie conscious diet of chocolate, Pringles and waffles.
The so-called 'wine reception' comprised the handing over of a ticket for a glass of red stuff that really belonged in a salad-dressing, and most people just grabbed a glass just because it was 'free' & then headed straight for the bar to get a few beers in. Last year's 'Kilted Warriors' excelled themselves by all dressing as monks.
Later, rather than take the coach to Les Quatres Ecluses and hang around for ages, Eddie & I stayed in the hotel bar while Ann and Jane had a nap and freshened up. Then we met in reception with every intention of walking, but just as we were walking out of the hotel, Jon and John turned up with a minibus, so we cadged a lift. The venue wasn't open when we arrived, so we joined Billy and Catherine and Banania Man and Little Banania in the Universal bar round the corner - very friendly locals, very friendly dogs...
On to the venue, where we arrived in time to get to the front of the stage - where Jane was determined to stay, having been unable to get into the venue last year because it was too packed and she was still recovering from an operation on her foot. There were quite a few less people there this year though - so it was a lot more comfortable.
The Sweeney started the evening for us - Murray came on and sang "Stilts With Feathers In Her Hair" and then Adam and Sid joined him for the best Sweeney set Jane had heard so far (she should have come to Harlow) - starting with "White Trash" and including favourites like "Billy The Human Bomb", "Belinda", "Shut Up", "This and That" etc. The thing about Murray's Sweeney songs is that they really get inside your head - and Jane has been singing these songs in her head ever since. She also reckons they are such brilliant musicians, all three of them, that it's criminal that they don't get more airplay and aren't Top Ten million-seller megastars in their own right (though if they were we'd probably have to traipse to aircraft hangers like Wembley Arena to watch them through binoculars - I much prefer the more intimate gigs). She always enjoys watching Sid play - he has such attitude - and Adam is an amazing drummer. No offence.....
At this point, the venue's P.A. is worth a mention - we could hear all the words. Well done to the guys on the mixer desk.
Next came Eddie and The Hot Rods. They have had the recent misfortune to lose their guitarist - but have already appointed a new one and he played his first gig as a permanent Hot Rod this evening. He had no rehearsals apart from a sound check earlier in the afternoon, and a quick listen to a Hotrods live CD, but made a brilliant job of it. Some of you may have heard of him, his name is Richard Holgarth. Congrats Mr We-Evil !! But we hope this doesn't mean we lose you from the Otway band. The Hot Rods went down brilliantly as usual, and the crowd were right behind them - "Do Anything You Wanna Do" and "Gloria" got the whole crowd singing along.
A few people, Ann included, were overcome by the fumes from 'certain substances', and had to go outside for air (not enough oxygen).
Then it was time for the Top Ten Artist Mr John Otway and his Big Band. To be honest with you, Jane, who claims not to have been drunk, doesn't remember a lot of their set as the audience was - to put it nicely - a bit "lively" - so it was a bit of a fight to stop people getting crushed and to stay standing myself! But it was all very good natured and she got the chance to shove a few men around without getting thumped! She'd already been dubbed "Mum" by Hamster Dave because, to use her own words: "I'm a bit of a bossy cow" and now could physically push people around as well. Also, at one point, both Richard and Murray had to ask everyone to step back and make room.
At the end,several people got on stage to dance to the final Bunsen Burner and then it was all over and a crowd of us walked back to the hotel, whilst others stayed to party into the small hours.
Once again, Ann and I joined Jane and Eddie to walk back to the hotel rather than hang around for over an hour for the coaches. There were a few more bars open this year, and just around the corner from our hotel, we found a café that was still serving food, so Ann and I went in for a very nice late meal.
As already reported, at breakfast, Dipster, the Hotrods' bassist, was completely out of it, having, apparently, slept on the stairs, but he, at least managed to get down, as did Ellen, a few minutes later, despite being in a similar condition.
It was a beautiful sunny day so several small groups decided to clear away the cobwebs and have a walk along the quay. I don't know if they've worked on Dunkerque - but it seemed a lot nicer this year - though you had a very hard job to avoid doggy doings wherever you walked! The fat old fisher-woman was there again, and in the harbour there was a man in a wet suit and someone did at first wonder if it was Otway - it's the sort of mad thing he'd do - but then we realised that the guy was swimming with a dolphin. He was in there for over half an hour as we walked all around the quay and he was still there when we came back. We certainly felt a lot better for going on the walk - and we passed Dipster - with Drummer Hot Rod - on the way and they certainly seemed more human for it as well!
Once checked out we waited for the coaches to take us to Loon Plage, somewhere between Calais and Dunkerque. While we were waiting, Dipster was in hysterics over a small dog's efforts struggling to 'squeeze one out'.
The venue was in a big basket-ball hall - which seemed huge and empty at first - but it actually worked quite well. A bit larger than last year's, but the food was just as good. Ann and I got well stuck into a bottle of rum that we'd bought the day before, while everyone else queued for the bar.
The order of things is pretty hazy now, but Otway sang, The Big Band did a few numbers, including Pretty Flamingo, The Sweeney came on and played the Kazoo song (complete with guest artist from the audience who had brought his own kazoo along), and Telstar, Attila the Stockbroker (who MC'd on Saturday) recited some of his poetry (including Supermodel - all about how he hates the skinny image that these models are presenting and how he likes women to have curves - a big cheer went up from the 'larger' women at that! - The best line goes something like: "You're so thin, yet so thick.") and sang some songs. The Hot Rods came on and did "Do Anything You Wanna Do" with Otway in front of the stage singing along and dancing with the rest of us, with a huge grin on his face. Then they decided to hold an audition of guitarists - including Richard, Murray, Seymour, Otway, Richard Cotton - and Adam. Adam was one of the best there - though Mr Holgarth standing behind him holding the guitar up for him may have had something to do with it..... :-)) You had to have been there, the whole thing was so funny. Otway and the Band played Cheryl, and were joined on stage by MC Trainspotter (Attila), complete with dirty anorak for the Trainspotter Rap.
The Sunday session was, as Jane said, the REAL highlight of the weekend. It was a chance for the various artists to do what they do best and have a lot of fun along the way - and for us to all join in. Attila's poems struck just the right note, and the Hot Rods' auditioning for a new lead guitarrist wasn't far short of sensational.
One of the funniest bits of the Sunday gig? Attila and Otway doing HOTRS in French. The 'responses' were held up for the audience to respond in French and singing while trying to read (and pronounce) was hilarious, especially when the pages were mixed up at one point!
Other memorable (repeatable) highlights were Jon Padgett holding a straight ladder which didn't appear to be able to be opened for Richard in YASNY and Otway in CGH. Congratulations Jon for having the strength of ten - it was terrifying for the audience, so Lord knows how Richard and Otway felt balanced even more precariously than usual.
One of the coach marshalls was celebrating his 21st birthday, and was presented with a card on stage signed by nearly everyone on the trip, and his other treat was a rendition of Birthday Boy from John.
Headbutts had loads of volunteers, so anxious to butt that some of them even butted each other. John had to point out that this wasn't strictly in the rules. Who cares? We all found it hilarious.
The gig ended with Dipster on lead vocals for a rousing performance of Born To Be Wild, and Adam and Simon (I think that's his name - the Hot Rods drummer) sharing a drum kit, and just about everybody on stage.
Later on, Otway started off a series of 'time trials', with shows of scooter prowess round the hall with people at the tables doing the Mexican wave as they went round.
And then it was time to go. Coach A's trip was livened up again by the Middlesborough lot opening up and sharing three or four bottles of red plonk (50p a bottle!) which they poured into china mugs and handed round to those sitting at the back. Jane discovered that somehow the remote control from the hotel room had found its way into her handbag. She claimed not to know how - but no-one believed her! Richard H then embarrassed her by showing Mr Cotton - so she's now wetting herself that she doesn't join the banned list for next year's trip! She WAS going to post it back - honest! But Richard gave it to Mr C - so now it's HIS problem.
On the way home, and passing through customs at Calais, Richard H, Colin 'Rich Bloke' Ferguson and another Richard having figured out how to get out through the roof of their coach, suddenly appeared sitting and singing on the roof! What was worrying, though, was the fact that the 'increased security measures', at Calais failed to notice people sitting on the roof. Perhaps, next year, this year's monks could dress up as Arabs for the homeward journey just to see if they get spotted.
The homeward crossing was on a slightly smaller ferry that did roll a bit, but it wasn't a bad crossing. When we got to the Red Lion, the Hara Kiri session was still in progress while we had our last meal before saying all our good-byes. Roll on next year. But in the mean time ...
Of course, thanks are due to Otway, Richard, Seymour, The Sweeney, Eddie & The Hotrods, Attila, and the terrific coach staff for a fantastic weekend,and of course to Richard Cotton for arranging everything so well after such a hectic previous couple of months. It was a superlative weekend - shame we didn't get blockaded in for another couple of days. The bands were amazing and everyone came home tired, hung over (or they will be today - mostly they didn't get the chance to get a hangover as the alcohol levels were kept topped up), bruised from bouncing around on Saturday night, but above all HAPPY.
Can't wait for Ingmire..... see you all there.
Speaking personally, and as one of last year's virgins, I was amazed that last year could be, and was, surpassed.
Next year?
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